Day 12
I went and got a pregnancy test today. This morning, when I went to pump gas - the smell of which I usually love - I felt overwhelmingly nauseated. Same thing when I walked into the lunchroom. I've been constantly shaky - no matter how much I fuel my body.
The pregnancy test came out negative, but Dick suggested that perhaps I was suffering withdrawals from alcohol. I was overly angered by this comment. Had I been drunk off my ass or even consumed more than three drinks every day for years and years or months and months or days and days, I'd be willing to accept this comment. However, a couple glasses of wine with dinner three nights a week, and then some weekend drinking? Withdrawals? Maybe I'm naive.
I'm sure I took a pissy tone with him. He told me not to yell at him. That's the second fucking time he's said that to me. He uses the same tone of voice with me that he uses with our oldest son when he's being unreasonable and it's enough to send me through the roof.
Is he insinuating that I'm an alcoholic? I don't know what he's insinuating. It just makes me angry. It makes me want to go to bed and curl up in a little ball and never put away the laundry and just leave the dishes in the sink and leave my report cards undone. I don't think he even knows how angry it makes me.
I hate being so angry about it. I can't stand the way we engage each other because we never see each other. One positive: When I get this angry, I'm glad I don't drink. I'd probably beat the living daylights out of somebody unprovoked.
Jane Says: I feel stupid and cuntrageous.
The pregnancy test came out negative, but Dick suggested that perhaps I was suffering withdrawals from alcohol. I was overly angered by this comment. Had I been drunk off my ass or even consumed more than three drinks every day for years and years or months and months or days and days, I'd be willing to accept this comment. However, a couple glasses of wine with dinner three nights a week, and then some weekend drinking? Withdrawals? Maybe I'm naive.
I'm sure I took a pissy tone with him. He told me not to yell at him. That's the second fucking time he's said that to me. He uses the same tone of voice with me that he uses with our oldest son when he's being unreasonable and it's enough to send me through the roof.
Is he insinuating that I'm an alcoholic? I don't know what he's insinuating. It just makes me angry. It makes me want to go to bed and curl up in a little ball and never put away the laundry and just leave the dishes in the sink and leave my report cards undone. I don't think he even knows how angry it makes me.
I hate being so angry about it. I can't stand the way we engage each other because we never see each other. One positive: When I get this angry, I'm glad I don't drink. I'd probably beat the living daylights out of somebody unprovoked.
Jane Says: I feel stupid and cuntrageous.
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on Thursday, June 01, 2006 at 1:50 PM.
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