Puking (silent e) Epiphany
Blogger, I am sorry I have neglected you my little friend - I thought you were (dunh, dunh, dunh) BLOCKED FROM WORK (SCREAM!) for containing sexual content! You are not, though, thank the people in cyberspace.
Continuing on,
When I was at my AA meeting a couple weeks ago, we were dealing with admissions of alcoholism. There are several paragraphs in the 3rd chapter that are used to set guidelines for you might be an alcoholic if...it then enumerates things I have done and have not done, but it's just supposed to give you an idea.
Which is why I suppose I didn't get the big BONG! pan hitting you on the head thing when I was thinking about whether I was an alcoholic or not. And then, as I was sitting among my very accepting friends, I thought, "Why don't they just asked you how many times and where you have puked due to alcohol?"
Because me? I am the QUEEN of the POST PARTY PUKE. I've puked in Palau, Japan, China, Uruguay, Hong Kong, various U.S. States and on several boats, I'm sure of it. HAVE you tried ralphing in a squatty potty? It's not pretty. Especially when you're balancing precariously in my stubbornly high platform shoes to avoid backsplash.
Had they asked me THAT question, I would've been like, YES! YES! I AM! I guess it should have occurred to me a couple summers ago when I was helping my mom at an event and had to puke in a very full porta potty. The shit was literally hitting me in the face, and it didn't even occur to me that SOMETHING! WAS! WRONG! No, everybody does this!
I'm still in disbelief that this never occurred to me. I still move that should be added to the BIG BOOK. Do you drink alone? in the dark? switch brands? drink only during the day? drink only during the night? PUKE IN AS MANY DIFFERENT TOILETS IN AS MANY DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AS YOU CAN?
That would've made it so much easier!
Continuing on,
When I was at my AA meeting a couple weeks ago, we were dealing with admissions of alcoholism. There are several paragraphs in the 3rd chapter that are used to set guidelines for you might be an alcoholic if...it then enumerates things I have done and have not done, but it's just supposed to give you an idea.
Which is why I suppose I didn't get the big BONG! pan hitting you on the head thing when I was thinking about whether I was an alcoholic or not. And then, as I was sitting among my very accepting friends, I thought, "Why don't they just asked you how many times and where you have puked due to alcohol?"
Because me? I am the QUEEN of the POST PARTY PUKE. I've puked in Palau, Japan, China, Uruguay, Hong Kong, various U.S. States and on several boats, I'm sure of it. HAVE you tried ralphing in a squatty potty? It's not pretty. Especially when you're balancing precariously in my stubbornly high platform shoes to avoid backsplash.
Had they asked me THAT question, I would've been like, YES! YES! I AM! I guess it should have occurred to me a couple summers ago when I was helping my mom at an event and had to puke in a very full porta potty. The shit was literally hitting me in the face, and it didn't even occur to me that SOMETHING! WAS! WRONG! No, everybody does this!
I'm still in disbelief that this never occurred to me. I still move that should be added to the BIG BOOK. Do you drink alone? in the dark? switch brands? drink only during the day? drink only during the night? PUKE IN AS MANY DIFFERENT TOILETS IN AS MANY DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AS YOU CAN?
That would've made it so much easier!
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 7:13 PM.
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