View from the Top
I hesitate to use any kind of title like that to a post, because I know that pride comes before a fall. I don't think that I'm am being prideful or anything, I just feel like I am in a good place. Every other time that I have been in this "good place", I panicked and went to the bottle and fucked it up. Because I didn't know what to do.
I find that pretty unbelievable that I was SO uncomfortable being comfortable and good (when that was all that I desperately wanted) that I purposely sabotaged it.
I also naively convinced myself that I could handle a few drinks, more than once. A lot of times I think that I'm still in that stage, because I STILL can't see myself quitting forever. AA always says, "1 day at a time", though, and I guess that's for people like me. I don't have to quit drinking forever, I just have to quit 1 day at a time.
Sometimes I also think I have lost my damn mind, because I asked a good friend of mine to make his in/famous punch for this weekend, Dick's birthday. Punch that is known community-wide for having people dancing on tables and stealing hats and falling off bikes. Punch that people - when they hear it is being served, get looks of fear and excitement in their eyes. That kind of punch. Why I choose to indulge in this kind of passive alcoholic mischeviousness is seriously beyond me. I just thought it would be a good thing to have at a party.
Jane Says: Sometimes I want to fly.
I find that pretty unbelievable that I was SO uncomfortable being comfortable and good (when that was all that I desperately wanted) that I purposely sabotaged it.
I also naively convinced myself that I could handle a few drinks, more than once. A lot of times I think that I'm still in that stage, because I STILL can't see myself quitting forever. AA always says, "1 day at a time", though, and I guess that's for people like me. I don't have to quit drinking forever, I just have to quit 1 day at a time.
Sometimes I also think I have lost my damn mind, because I asked a good friend of mine to make his in/famous punch for this weekend, Dick's birthday. Punch that is known community-wide for having people dancing on tables and stealing hats and falling off bikes. Punch that people - when they hear it is being served, get looks of fear and excitement in their eyes. That kind of punch. Why I choose to indulge in this kind of passive alcoholic mischeviousness is seriously beyond me. I just thought it would be a good thing to have at a party.
Jane Says: Sometimes I want to fly.
This entry was posted
on Friday, January 26, 2007 at 5:51 PM.
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